fix my essay please?
Dear Tobacco User
The purpose of this letter is to ensure your way of life by bringing happiness and enrichment to your life and others. This letter will contain the following messages that will enable your life to be drug free and ensure a happy lifestyle for you and others. A wise man once said “When the wind is howling at the mountain, no matter how the wind howls, the mountain will never bow down before it.” This quote applies to big corporate Tobacco companies choosing to make profits over public safety. They choose to say that their cigarettes are safe, but the truth is, they were never once safe, and they will never be safe. No matter how right the wind is the tobacco company, no matter how it screams its case or argues its rights, the mountain is the truth, and it cannot be swayed by false logic. The truth is the truth, and it cannot be moved. Smoking cigarettes could’ve been a preventable cause of health risks in the United States, alone. The health care costs are being driven up to all Americans because there are some people out there, who choose to ignore the facts and are having major health problems in their lives because they are smoking knowing it could have been prevented. This letter contains much Information about tobacco uses, and my strong desires you should quit smoking not for yourself but for sake of others too.
In recent data conducted by U.S. Surgeon General concluded that, after 1 year off cigarettes, the excess risk of heart disease and sudden death caused by smoking is reduced by half. After 15 years of abstinence, the risk of heart disease is similar to that of people who’ve never smoked. In 5 to 15 years, the risk of stroke for ex-smokers returns to the level of those who’ve never smoked. Male smokers who quit between ages 35 to 39 can add up to 15 years to their life. Female quitters in this age group can add up to 12 years. Men and women who quit at ages 65 to 69 increase their life expectancy by up to 3 years. People who quit smoking will decrease their risk of lung disease, heart disease, emphysema, sudden death, cancer, hardening of the arteries, and lots of complications arising from long-term abuse of tobacco. Right now you spend $1,500 a year on your cigarettes. The average person lives to at least 75 years old in Minnesota, you spend during your life time about $85,000, that’s a lot of money you could have in your pocket when you are 75 years old.
I feel that you should quit smoking is because that you are setting up people in your life to be driven away from you. I don’t want to be around you when you are smoking, no one wants to be. For many people it would be the greatest victory knowing that they have kicked the old habit of smoking. You would look pretty disgusting having yellow teethes, coughs, messy ash trays, burn marks and smoke in the home, on clothes, in the car, on you. Hey, I’m speaking not by myself but for behalf the entire population that has been revolving around your life. If you’re not going to keep smoking, then your entire life has been for what? For nothing, I want you to be bigger than life, to set an example that you could do something, right now, cigarettes has been a drag on your life, you need to resist the urge and bring change. It’s only you can do that, sense no one is going to do it, mind as it be you.
Sincerely,
In the first paragraph, don’t announce what the letter is gonna be about, just say it. And did you get that quote from Mulan?! Lol, good quote, but I think it’s a stretch. In Mulan, the mountain not bowing down was a good thing. It’s kinda confusing that you say that the mountain isn’t changing (which could be the non-smoker or the company). Then you go on to say that the wind is the company. It’s kinda jumbled.
Don’t use contractions like “could’ve”. To me, it sounds informal. And most people are well aware of the health risks in smoking, but can’t quit/or are indifferent.
Typically, if the number is one word, write it out. Like 15 should be fifteen.
You have a lot of comma splices. If you can read between commas and it makes sense, use periods instead of commas.
“Teeth” doesn’t have an s on the end (last paragraph).
Berating their life decision is kinda futile. It could work, but ninety percent of the time it’ll wind up with a “Who are you?”
Good intentions though. You have facts to back you up.
isnt this awesome for us smokers?
Cigarettes, according to China’s tobacco authorities, are an excellent way to prevent ulcers. They also reduce the risk of Parkinson’s disease, relieve schizophrenia, boost your brain cells, speed up your thinking, improve your reactions and increase your working efficiency.
Pay no attention to those lung cancer warnings – they’re nonsense. You’re more likely to get cancer from cooking smoke! Those are the words of wisdom from China’s state-owned tobacco monopoly, the world’s most successful cigarette-marketing agency. With annual sales of 1.8 trillion cigarettes, the Chinese are responsible for nearly 1/3 of all cigarettes smoked on the whole planet.
The official website of the tobacco monopoly claims cigarettes are a kind of miracle drug: solving your health problems, helping your lifestyle, strengthening the equality of women, and even eliminating loneliness and depression. “Smoking removes your troubles and worries,” says a 37-year-old female magazine editor, quoted approvingly on the website. “Holding a cigarette is like having a walking stick in your hand, giving you support. “Quitting smoking would bring you misery, shortening your life.” Such statements are widely believed in China.
2/3 of Chinese men are smokers, and surveys show that approx. 90% believe their habit has little effect on their health, or is good for them. Even in China’s medical community, 60% of male doctors are smokers. No wonder Western tobacco companies are drooling over the Chinese market of 360 million smokers.
This week, a group of Canadian experts went to China in an effort to convince Chinese smokers of more realistic effects of smoking. They distributed anti-smoking posters, visited cancer patients, showed the graphic warnings on Canadian cigarette packs, and lectured on how the anti-smoking campaign has reduced Canada’s lung-cancer rate. They face a struggle in China, a country where the tobacco industry provides 60 million jobs and 10% of national tax revenue.
“In China today, the economy comes first and everything else is secondary, including health care,” Dr. Jean Couture, a Quebec surgeon, said. “You wonder if anyone in the government is conscious of how great the smoking problem is. There’s no public education program. The Chinese anti-smoking association is very weak and has almost no money. Within 20 years, China could have the majority of all smoking deaths in the world.” Couture leads anti-smoking campaigns in 4 Chinese provinces, and has been involved with China’s smoking problem since 1990.
As Canadians distributed posters at a hospital, they saw a number of people smoking in the hospital. A hospital shop was openly selling cigarettes. While smoking rates have fallen sharply in Canada in the past two decades, the rate in China is still rising. The number of Chinese smokers is growing by 3 million a year, despite an estimated 1.3 million tobacco-related deaths annually.
Chinese cigarettes are cheap — as little as 30 cents a pack — and the health warnings are hidden in small print on the sides of the packages. Though cigarette advertising is technically illegal, tobacco companies are allowed to promote their corporate names. Children can easily buy cigarettes at Chinese shops, despite an official ban on sales to those under 18. Money, money, money.
Have you ever heard……of…….?
Swedish Snus ……….if you are a smoker…….maybe you should look it up,its a less harmful alternative to smoking…….and it gives you the freedom to get your nicotine fix….where ever you like(there is no smoking ban on this)…And as quoted in the medical journals….is 100-1000% less harmful infact there is health gains to made for a smoker to switch to using this!!!!!….and before you say to yourself….oh dear oral cancer….there is reports that even this is less than smoking….as for pancreatic cancer….its the same as a smoker or even less…depends on which reports you follow.
Ok then …..its banned for sale in the European Union(except in Sweden….that’s ok you can buy off line until they lift the ban )…..the only people who seem opposed to lifting the ban …..are the company’s who make and sell nicotine replacement products(e.g gums and patches)….as they would lose profits…..if this alternative to smoking was locally available.
Even the anti smoking lobby….have said its prefer ed…alternative to smoking as it doesn`t affect anyone else around hence the fact you can beat their public smoking ban(not mine as it….takes away freedom of choice…but hey)
So before i finish i`ll go futher….i like to dispel comments from the less Intelligent people on here leaving their embarrassing misinformed comments…..It not Chewing tobacco…..so is Less Harmful than smoking…..it doesn`t stink unless you already have bad Breathe….you don`t spit as with Swedish Snus there no colllection of Spit(as with Chewing Tobacco).
And before you say anything i can assure you i`m not salesman…..only a person …..feels that people should be informed of this stuff as it could save lifes…and return some kind of mature choice…which the smoking bans have taken away…by the way they have been implemented(e.g giving the people the right to vote over it!!!!! not doing it by the door as its been done)
Sorry bluebell have to disagree with you …..i think you may find it`ll save lifes….and ok lessen the profits of the drug companys
Oh dear….Happy Murcia and star…remember what i said about embarressing comments
Maybe you should really have knowledge of something before passing comment
Its been fully tested……for about 200years….and now by the medical proffession….
2tall look it up its not chewing tobacco…..so you haven`t tryed it lol
“Tobacco companies in the United States filed the first lawsuit, in federal district court in Kentucky, against the Food and Drug Administration, challenging a recently enacted federal law containing marketing and speech restrictions. The landmark law, signed by President Barrack Obama in June, requires new warning labels on packaging, limits advertising to black and white for certain audiences comprised of greater than 15% or two million readers under age 18, and bans advertising within 1000 feet of a school or playground, among other restrictions, which critics argue violate First Amendment free speech rights of the tobacco companies. Floyd Abrams, an attorney representing Lorillard Tobacco Company, argues, “The government has great power to protect children from certain products, including cigarettes, but tobacco is a legal product for adults. When you cut back their ability to speak to lawful purchasers, you do start running into legal issues.” Clifford E. Douglas, executive director of University of Michigan Tobacco Research Network contends, “If there’s any commercial speech that is constitutional to restrict, it’s the type of marketing covered in this legislation.” Altria Group, Inc., maker of Marlboro products, is not a participant in this lawsuit and supported the bill which is designed to reduce promotion of tobacco use to children and youth smoking.”
As a parent, I am happy to see this done to limit children being subjected to such advertising, especially since studies prove that children are much more susceptible to its influence. As a patriotic American I feel angered at the arrogance of our current government for enacting a federal law that blatantly limits someone’s (even the disgusting tobacco companies, LOL) freedom of speech. The freedoms afforded to us by the Constitution were not meant to be manipulated to suit different situations like this. A big part of me also sees this as just more big government trying to do the job that parents should be doing themselves.
What is your opinion? And please be respectful of others’ opinions! Thanks!
as a human being, i’m utterly in favor of very blunt warning labels on dangerous products.
as a parent, i’m disgusted that cigarette companies would choose to market right next to schools or to populations including large numbers of children (when there are clearly other options for targeting marketing to adults).
as a lawyer and free-speech advocate, though, and without seeing the actual text of the law (so i might change my mind if i knew more details than summarized here) i’d be very skeptical of limiting speech aimed at an 85% adult market just because the product is not legal for sale to children. so ultimately i’d be quite skeptical of the law as presented here. it’s a worthy goal but sounds based on the information i read here to be less than an ideal solution.
“Tobacco companies in the United States filed the first lawsuit, in federal district court in Kentucky, against the Food and Drug Administration, challenging a recently enacted federal law containing marketing and speech restrictions. The landmark law, signed by President Barrack Obama in June, requires new warning labels on packaging, limits advertising to black and white for certain audiences comprised of greater than 15% or two million readers under age 18, and bans advertising within 1000 feet of a school or playground, among other restrictions, which critics argue violate First Amendment free speech rights of the tobacco companies. Floyd Abrams, an attorney representing Lorillard Tobacco Company, argues, “The government has great power to protect children from certain products, including cigarettes, but tobacco is a legal product for adults. When you cut back their ability to speak to lawful purchasers, you do start running into legal issues.” Clifford E. Douglas, executive director of University of Michigan Tobacco Research Network contends, “If there’s any commercial speech that is constitutional to restrict, it’s the type of marketing covered in this legislation.” Altria Group, Inc., maker of Marlboro products, is not a participant in this lawsuit and supported the bill which is designed to reduce promotion of tobacco use to children and youth smoking.”
As a parent, I am happy to see this done to limit children being subjected to such advertising, especially since studies prove that children are much more susceptible to its influence. As a patriotic American I feel angered at the arrogance of our current government for enacting a federal law that blatantly limits someone’s (even the disgusting tobacco companies, LOL) freedom of speech. The freedoms afforded to us by the Constitution were not meant to be manipulated to suit different situations like this. A big part of me also sees this as just more big government trying to do the job that parents should be doing themselves.
What is your opinion? And please be respectful of others’ opinions! Thanks!
Nobody loves tobacco companies. They aren’t a warm and fuzzy group to defend. But it is those groups who test how important our freedoms are to us. Defending the rights of people saying popular things to express themselves is a non-event. Defending the rights of people saying unpopular things is the true test of whether someone cares about free speech or not. Speech wins, hands down.
fix my essay please?
Dear Tobacco User
The purpose of this letter is to ensure your way of life by bringing happiness and enrichment to your life and others. This letter will contain the following messages that will enable your life to be drug free and ensure a happy lifestyle for you and others. A wise man once said “When the wind is howling at the mountain, no matter how the wind howls, the mountain will never bow down before it.” This quote applies to big corporate Tobacco companies choosing to make profits over public safety. They choose to say that their cigarettes are safe, but the truth is, they were never once safe, and they will never be safe. No matter how right the wind is the tobacco company, no matter how it screams its case or argues its rights, the mountain is the truth, and it cannot be swayed by false logic. The truth is the truth, and it cannot be moved. Smoking cigarettes could’ve been a preventable cause of health risks in the United States, alone. The health care costs are being driven up to all Americans because there are some people out there, who choose to ignore the facts and are having major health problems in their lives because they are smoking knowing it could have been prevented. This letter contains much Information about tobacco uses, and my strong desires you should quit smoking not for yourself but for sake of others too.
In recent data conducted by U.S. Surgeon General concluded that, after 1 year off cigarettes, the excess risk of heart disease and sudden death caused by smoking is reduced by half. After 15 years of abstinence, the risk of heart disease is similar to that of people who’ve never smoked. In 5 to 15 years, the risk of stroke for ex-smokers returns to the level of those who’ve never smoked. Male smokers who quit between ages 35 to 39 can add up to 15 years to their life. Female quitters in this age group can add up to 12 years. Men and women who quit at ages 65 to 69 increase their life expectancy by up to 3 years. People who quit smoking will decrease their risk of lung disease, heart disease, emphysema, sudden death, cancer, hardening of the arteries, and lots of complications arising from long-term abuse of tobacco. Right now you spend $1,500 a year on your cigarettes. The average person lives to at least 75 years old in Minnesota, you spend during your life time about $85,000, that’s a lot of money you could have in your pocket when you are 75 years old.
I feel that you should quit smoking is because that you are setting up people in your life to be driven away from you. I don’t want to be around you when you are smoking, no one wants to be. For many people it would be the greatest victory knowing that they have kicked the old habit of smoking. You would look pretty disgusting having yellow teethes, coughs, messy ash trays, burn marks and smoke in the home, on clothes, in the car, on you. Hey, I’m speaking not by myself but for behalf the entire population that has been revolving around your life. If you’re not going to keep smoking, then your entire life has been for what? For nothing, I want you to be bigger than life, to set an example that you could do something, right now, cigarettes has been a drag on your life, you need to resist the urge and bring change. It’s only you can do that, sense no one is going to do it, mind as it be you.
Sincerely,
Comma after “Dear Tobacco User”.
In the first paragraph, don’t announce what the letter is gonna be about, just say it. And did you get that quote from Mulan?! Lol, good quote, but I think it’s a stretch. In Mulan, the mountain not bowing down was a good thing. It’s kinda confusing that you say that the mountain isn’t changing (which could be the non-smoker or the company). Then you go on to say that the wind is the company. It’s kinda jumbled.
Don’t use contractions like “could’ve”. To me, it sounds informal. And most people are well aware of the health risks in smoking, but can’t quit/or are indifferent.
Typically, if the number is one word, write it out. Like 15 should be fifteen.
You have a lot of comma splices. If you can read between commas and it makes sense, use periods instead of commas.
“Teeth” doesn’t have an s on the end (last paragraph).
Berating their life decision is kinda futile. It could work, but ninety percent of the time it’ll wind up with a “Who are you?”
Good intentions though. You have facts to back you up.
Get a friend to read it, too.
Hope that helped.
isnt this awesome for us smokers?
Cigarettes, according to China’s tobacco authorities, are an excellent way to prevent ulcers. They also reduce the risk of Parkinson’s disease, relieve schizophrenia, boost your brain cells, speed up your thinking, improve your reactions and increase your working efficiency.
Pay no attention to those lung cancer warnings – they’re nonsense. You’re more likely to get cancer from cooking smoke! Those are the words of wisdom from China’s state-owned tobacco monopoly, the world’s most successful cigarette-marketing agency. With annual sales of 1.8 trillion cigarettes, the Chinese are responsible for nearly 1/3 of all cigarettes smoked on the whole planet.
The official website of the tobacco monopoly claims cigarettes are a kind of miracle drug: solving your health problems, helping your lifestyle, strengthening the equality of women, and even eliminating loneliness and depression. “Smoking removes your troubles and worries,” says a 37-year-old female magazine editor, quoted approvingly on the website. “Holding a cigarette is like having a walking stick in your hand, giving you support. “Quitting smoking would bring you misery, shortening your life.” Such statements are widely believed in China.
2/3 of Chinese men are smokers, and surveys show that approx. 90% believe their habit has little effect on their health, or is good for them. Even in China’s medical community, 60% of male doctors are smokers. No wonder Western tobacco companies are drooling over the Chinese market of 360 million smokers.
This week, a group of Canadian experts went to China in an effort to convince Chinese smokers of more realistic effects of smoking. They distributed anti-smoking posters, visited cancer patients, showed the graphic warnings on Canadian cigarette packs, and lectured on how the anti-smoking campaign has reduced Canada’s lung-cancer rate. They face a struggle in China, a country where the tobacco industry provides 60 million jobs and 10% of national tax revenue.
“In China today, the economy comes first and everything else is secondary, including health care,” Dr. Jean Couture, a Quebec surgeon, said. “You wonder if anyone in the government is conscious of how great the smoking problem is. There’s no public education program. The Chinese anti-smoking association is very weak and has almost no money. Within 20 years, China could have the majority of all smoking deaths in the world.” Couture leads anti-smoking campaigns in 4 Chinese provinces, and has been involved with China’s smoking problem since 1990.
As Canadians distributed posters at a hospital, they saw a number of people smoking in the hospital. A hospital shop was openly selling cigarettes. While smoking rates have fallen sharply in Canada in the past two decades, the rate in China is still rising. The number of Chinese smokers is growing by 3 million a year, despite an estimated 1.3 million tobacco-related deaths annually.
Chinese cigarettes are cheap — as little as 30 cents a pack — and the health warnings are hidden in small print on the sides of the packages. Though cigarette advertising is technically illegal, tobacco companies are allowed to promote their corporate names. Children can easily buy cigarettes at Chinese shops, despite an official ban on sales to those under 18. Money, money, money.
Hmmmmm. Very few people can read the sarcasm in your title but judging by the spelling and grammar in their answers, very few people can read at all.
Have you ever heard……of…….?
Swedish Snus ……….if you are a smoker…….maybe you should look it up,its a less harmful alternative to smoking…….and it gives you the freedom to get your nicotine fix….where ever you like(there is no smoking ban on this)…And as quoted in the medical journals….is 100-1000% less harmful infact there is health gains to made for a smoker to switch to using this!!!!!….and before you say to yourself….oh dear oral cancer….there is reports that even this is less than smoking….as for pancreatic cancer….its the same as a smoker or even less…depends on which reports you follow.
Ok then …..its banned for sale in the European Union(except in Sweden….that’s ok you can buy off line until they lift the ban )…..the only people who seem opposed to lifting the ban …..are the company’s who make and sell nicotine replacement products(e.g gums and patches)….as they would lose profits…..if this alternative to smoking was locally available.
Even the anti smoking lobby….have said its prefer ed…alternative to smoking as it doesn`t affect anyone else around hence the fact you can beat their public smoking ban(not mine as it….takes away freedom of choice…but hey)
So before i finish i`ll go futher….i like to dispel comments from the less Intelligent people on here leaving their embarrassing misinformed comments…..It not Chewing tobacco…..so is Less Harmful than smoking…..it doesn`t stink unless you already have bad Breathe….you don`t spit as with Swedish Snus there no colllection of Spit(as with Chewing Tobacco).
And before you say anything i can assure you i`m not salesman…..only a person …..feels that people should be informed of this stuff as it could save lifes…and return some kind of mature choice…which the smoking bans have taken away…by the way they have been implemented(e.g giving the people the right to vote over it!!!!! not doing it by the door as its been done)
Sorry bluebell have to disagree with you …..i think you may find it`ll save lifes….and ok lessen the profits of the drug companys
Oh dear….Happy Murcia and star…remember what i said about embarressing comments
Maybe you should really have knowledge of something before passing comment
Its been fully tested……for about 200years….and now by the medical proffession….
2tall look it up its not chewing tobacco…..so you haven`t tryed it lol
they sell it norway too. my cousin sent me over a can of it.
What is your opinion on this… as a parent and as an objective American?
The following quote is from http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/01/business/01tobacco.html?_r=3&hpw (from a “CDC Public Health News Update” I receive weekly via email).
“Tobacco companies in the United States filed the first lawsuit, in federal district court in Kentucky, against the Food and Drug Administration, challenging a recently enacted federal law containing marketing and speech restrictions. The landmark law, signed by President Barrack Obama in June, requires new warning labels on packaging, limits advertising to black and white for certain audiences comprised of greater than 15% or two million readers under age 18, and bans advertising within 1000 feet of a school or playground, among other restrictions, which critics argue violate First Amendment free speech rights of the tobacco companies. Floyd Abrams, an attorney representing Lorillard Tobacco Company, argues, “The government has great power to protect children from certain products, including cigarettes, but tobacco is a legal product for adults. When you cut back their ability to speak to lawful purchasers, you do start running into legal issues.” Clifford E. Douglas, executive director of University of Michigan Tobacco Research Network contends, “If there’s any commercial speech that is constitutional to restrict, it’s the type of marketing covered in this legislation.” Altria Group, Inc., maker of Marlboro products, is not a participant in this lawsuit and supported the bill which is designed to reduce promotion of tobacco use to children and youth smoking.”
As a parent, I am happy to see this done to limit children being subjected to such advertising, especially since studies prove that children are much more susceptible to its influence. As a patriotic American I feel angered at the arrogance of our current government for enacting a federal law that blatantly limits someone’s (even the disgusting tobacco companies, LOL) freedom of speech. The freedoms afforded to us by the Constitution were not meant to be manipulated to suit different situations like this. A big part of me also sees this as just more big government trying to do the job that parents should be doing themselves.
What is your opinion? And please be respectful of others’ opinions! Thanks!
as a human being, i’m utterly in favor of very blunt warning labels on dangerous products.
as a parent, i’m disgusted that cigarette companies would choose to market right next to schools or to populations including large numbers of children (when there are clearly other options for targeting marketing to adults).
as a lawyer and free-speech advocate, though, and without seeing the actual text of the law (so i might change my mind if i knew more details than summarized here) i’d be very skeptical of limiting speech aimed at an 85% adult market just because the product is not legal for sale to children. so ultimately i’d be quite skeptical of the law as presented here. it’s a worthy goal but sounds based on the information i read here to be less than an ideal solution.
What is your opinion on this… as a parent and as an objective American citizen?
The following quote is from http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/01/business/01tobacco.html?_r=3&hpw (from a “CDC Public Health News Update” I receive weekly via email).
“Tobacco companies in the United States filed the first lawsuit, in federal district court in Kentucky, against the Food and Drug Administration, challenging a recently enacted federal law containing marketing and speech restrictions. The landmark law, signed by President Barrack Obama in June, requires new warning labels on packaging, limits advertising to black and white for certain audiences comprised of greater than 15% or two million readers under age 18, and bans advertising within 1000 feet of a school or playground, among other restrictions, which critics argue violate First Amendment free speech rights of the tobacco companies. Floyd Abrams, an attorney representing Lorillard Tobacco Company, argues, “The government has great power to protect children from certain products, including cigarettes, but tobacco is a legal product for adults. When you cut back their ability to speak to lawful purchasers, you do start running into legal issues.” Clifford E. Douglas, executive director of University of Michigan Tobacco Research Network contends, “If there’s any commercial speech that is constitutional to restrict, it’s the type of marketing covered in this legislation.” Altria Group, Inc., maker of Marlboro products, is not a participant in this lawsuit and supported the bill which is designed to reduce promotion of tobacco use to children and youth smoking.”
As a parent, I am happy to see this done to limit children being subjected to such advertising, especially since studies prove that children are much more susceptible to its influence. As a patriotic American I feel angered at the arrogance of our current government for enacting a federal law that blatantly limits someone’s (even the disgusting tobacco companies, LOL) freedom of speech. The freedoms afforded to us by the Constitution were not meant to be manipulated to suit different situations like this. A big part of me also sees this as just more big government trying to do the job that parents should be doing themselves.
What is your opinion? And please be respectful of others’ opinions! Thanks!
Nobody loves tobacco companies. They aren’t a warm and fuzzy group to defend. But it is those groups who test how important our freedoms are to us. Defending the rights of people saying popular things to express themselves is a non-event. Defending the rights of people saying unpopular things is the true test of whether someone cares about free speech or not. Speech wins, hands down.