Reasons To Stop Smoking ... Paul Knew Them All
Author: Dave Tishendorf
By Dave Tishendorf
Paul was aware of all the conventional reasons to stop smoking.
I mean, how could you not be, even in the late 1970s, when he and I first met in a midsized city in southern Oregon. By that time, science had already established the dangers of smoking, and information on how to quit cigarettes was everywhere.
I was a working journalist back then, and Paul (not his real name) drove cab. We quickly became good friends. Over the years, Paul and his partner, Sarah, and my then-partner, now-wife, Mary, and I spent a lot of good times together.
The explanation for this writer/cabbie pairing can be found in the folds of community theater. If you have ever been a member of an amateur theater group in a small town, you know what I mean. Cultural lines are blurred there, if not eliminated altogether. Lifelong friendships are formed.
And sometimes love affairs bloom while the seeds of divorce are sown, and marriages are made or broken.
Paul, in fact, had been married and divorced four times when I met him. In a way that I can't fully explain, it was part of his charm. He would joke in his low-key way about each of his three grown daughters, and in time we in the group came to use the nicknames he had for each of them, names that had a certain fondness attached to them, even though they can't be repeated here (they had to do with how the girls were conceived).
It's not that Paul kept the names a secret from his daughters - that would have required a duplicity he was not capable of. The daughters knew full well what those nicknames were, and they were able to laugh with him. How could you ever become angry with Paul? It was almost impossible.
But if Paul was a loser in the game of love, he was brilliant onstage. This son of a Protestant minister had a lean figure, a deep voice, an aquiline nose and a profile to die for. He could not be called handsome in the Hollywood sense, but when he walked onstage, the effect was striking.
Onstage he was able to draw on the power of whatever demons and angels were residing in his soul. He acted from the inside out.
Paul and I were in several shows together. He was always the star, whether he had a leading role (Henry Drummond in "Inherit the Wind") or a minor one (Leo Herman, aka Chuckles the Chipmunk, in "A Thousand Clowns").
Had circumstances been different, had not one of his devils controlled and ultimately destroyed him, he might have been a professional.
As it was, he simply succeeded in being the most gentle person I have ever known.
I think, if Paul had stated his philosophy of life, it would have gone something like this:
"I will judge no one or no one thing. I will accept the flow of life as it comes and not try to change any of it. I will let it take me where it will, neither accepting nor rejecting it. Nothing is good or bad, it simply is. I am merely a passenger, and I will enjoy the ride."
Cigarettes entered Paul's life because he allowed them in, probably with no questions asked. How many decades did he end his day with a cigarette, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly? How many times did he light up first thing in the morning almost before his feet touched the floor? I don't know.
Yes, he knew all the reasons to stop smoking. He knew all about the information on how to quit cigarettes. He had seen the statistics; he had known people who died of lung cancer, or emphysema. He had seen the x-rays of blackened, rotting lungs oozing slime.
He had even tried a time or two to quit. He tried will power, he tried the gum, he tried the patch, but nothing ever came of any of it.
In the final analysis, he embraced this particular devil. The fact was, he enjoyed smoking, he loved to smoke. Cigarettes took him to a place he could not get to any other way. A place where he felt safe, free from all the gathered turmoil of the world. It was a place he could not, and would not, trade for anything, even for his life.
Paul's unspoken message to his friends, his family, to the world, and to himself was, "This is where life has taken me. I accept it. One way or another I am going to die. We all are. So, given the choice, why shouldn't I die on my terms? No reason. So that is what I'm going to do."
And that is what he did.
Not long before Paul died, when everyone in the theatre group, including Paul, knew his days were numbered, we staged a roast in his honor.
When Paul, emaciated and stooped, walked into the theatre the evening of the roast wearing a bright blue cowboy outfit, the house came down. It was one of his grandest entrances, and it was a perfect Act 1, Scene 1, for what was to follow. Despite the sobering subtext, it was an evening of rollicking good humor.
But at the very end of the evening, I, as emcee, injected the only serious note:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have known Paul for 20 years, and in that time he has become my brother. He is family.
"And in all that time I have never known him to be anything other than who he is.
"There is a beauty in that. There is an innocence in that. But most of all, there is a purity in that.
"And so I'm glad that you're all here tonight. Because it gives me the chance to say publicly what I've always said in my heart:
"Paul, I love you madly."
A few months later we scattered Paul's ashes on a nearby mountaintop.
That was almost 20 years ago. Now, from the vantage point afforded by time, I look back and I think I can understand why Paul thought the way he did about the reasons to stop smoking. And despite everything, I can even admire it somehow, however grudgingly. I mean, he had the courage to live the way he wanted to. How many of us can say the same?
At the same time, I am filled with anger.
I said earlier that it was almost impossible to become angry with Paul. But I am angry with him now, and I have been angry for 20 years.
I am angry at his outrageous selfishness. I am angry because he felt that his personal pleasure was more important than anything else. I am angry that he left us because he thought his obligation to a weed was greater than his obligation to the people who loved him.
What kind of person would do that?
If Paul could send a message today, I hope he would have the wisdom say to all the smokers of the world:
"Here is one of the main reasons to stop smoking; here is how to quit cigarettes:
"Remember that you are not in this alone. This is not just about you. Nothing you do is just about you. This is also about the people who count on you, who need you for a million reasons that neither you nor they may even understand. This is about the people who love you.
"If for no other reason, do it for them."
I'm still angry with Paul.
And I miss him. Every day.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/quit-smoking-articles/reasons-to-stop-smoking-paul-knew-them-all-1435281.html
About the Author
Dave Tishendorf is an ex-smoker. He invites you to find out more about how to quit cigarettes by clicking Here.
[TEMPLATE]cannibis[/TEMPLATE]
Now that the smoking ban is being lifted in some cities . . .?
For various reasons (Louisville, KY for example) do you think they will reform country wide? Im fine w/ bans in planes, busses, etc. That’s understandable. But every bar, restaurant, doorway, etc. is a little much. If you dont like it, just dont do it. We each had our own sections, which offers equal treatment for everyone, not just them getting their way and screw everyone else. Just because the overpriced establishments lose business to dive bars w/o smoking bans if they dont make them city wide is a horrible reason to ruin it for everyone. Money ruins everything, huh. If you are that health concious you shouldnt be in a bar or eating that crap anyway. And where yould your town be w/o cig taxes, hmm? (and before you go preaching “second hand smoke” how about you actually read the FDA reports and not just the mis-quotes from briefs in your local papers.) Yeay Louisville!!
what do you call it when the wants of the few(the smoke police) is forced on the people regardless of their own wants? if you don’t like cigs, go to a non smoking establishment. there’s plenty of them. don’t force all to become non smoking just because you’re on some idiotic crusade to save the world from itself. after they make the world safe from smokers, what’s next? they already are trying to force us to eat healthier foods. sometimes i want to eat fatty foods. next they will be trying to ban the sale of meat. then eggs, then milk, then fish. after that, what will be the next crusade? the possibilities are endless and also frightening. can you see where this could lead? we need to stop it before it starts and protect our freedoms before we have nothing left to protect.
Why do people bother to drink alcohol?
Why do people drink alcohol? I mean it’s worse than smoking weed and the only reason it was unbanned in the first place was because of the Great Depression and how we needed to tax alcohol. So why not ban it again…there won’t be rioting in the streets. There is nothing good about alcohol and I’m sure if people like the taste of beer or w/e then some company can make a beer that tastes exactly like the actual thing. Alcohol is tasteless anyway, and if people like the effect then the government might as well legalize all drugs because people like those effects too. And I say if you wanted to stop underage drinking and drunk driving, the punishment shouldnt be a little fine or prison time but rather hard core torture and death sentences (only after torture). So what do you think?
reasons for why smoking should Not be banned in public places?
For my public speaking class were doing a debate on should smoking be banned. my teacher assigned me to do the con side. so i have to find 3 reasons why smoking shouldnt be banned in public places but its hard looking for it. i dont agree with public smoking but this is just for class, it doesnt matter if i agree with it or not i have to do it. so can someone please give me 3 good reasons why smoking in public places shoudnt beanned.
you did get the hard one. maybe one would be they get mean and nasty if they don’t get a cigarette
Knowing we all die, Why do people think that living a robot-like life will mean anything.?
so people still think that living a strict life beneath the law and beneath set standards will make a difference to the value of their life. they think living a certain way means more. but in the end, it means you were very silly and didnt reap the rewards of life that were given to us here on earth. why cant people get high and be happy all the time, and have sex every night, why shouldnt people drive benz’s and eat steak till theyre 1000kg. there is no reward of living a strict life, only a fine or people hating you for living a “bad” one. why do human beings alike think others should not do something that they didnt do, why do people naturally think, if they didnt do it, you shouldnt either. so what reasons would people want to ban use of marijuana and have a legal age in which you are allowed to have sex, why cant people drink or smoke until theyre 18 . im going a bit off point, but why do people want to have a say of what other people do with their lives, i see this all the time with people preaching all the negatives of pregnancy, never seeing the positives. this control has many different outlets. some people try to correct people through racism, others through government and some through teaching. but why. it is not as if living under these commandments will make you a better person, all life is equal, nobody will ever be better than somebody else, because all that will be left of you is dust. so will making somebody not smoke, change the fact that they will die, or will it just hold them back from life experience, will forcing a girl to be a virgin until marriage change the fact she will die, or is it for your piece of mind. let me here your thoughts.
o yeh…. im high
Hm, I see where you are coming from, BUT – getting high and smoking might make you feel happy at the moment, but the bad affects will kick in later in life. Of course we are all going to die, so might as well enjoy life while we can, but having bad health problems, and getting addicted to drugs certainly is not going to make life any greater.. It’ll just make it worse. Having sex everyday? Well, I guess… yes enjoyable, but sometimes we want it to mean something. Like we WANT love and sex, not just sex. Sex has it’s risks as well. . . like you can go and do it everyday if you want, but I think sooner or later people would just get fed up of it, and would want something more, like LOVE.
And the truth is no one is actually better than anyone else- we are all the same. What makes someone greater than another is basically the opinions and values we have. I don’t think we should force anything upon anyone – but society thinks so. We had laws, and norms and values instilled upon us so we live up to them. I think restricting someone from something is not a good thing – maybe that’s why society is so corrupted. Too much restrictions would only make you feel trapped, and rebel against everything. We should just let people experience things, and learn from them. I’m not even sure what I wrote makes sense or not – I’m very bad at expressing what I think.. and my thoughts are everywhere, so I’m sorry If I’m not making sense. I’m sure my opinion is flawed.. lol.
xxx
How bad is it to use marijuana in the Philippines?
Lately, I’ve been seeing my old friends posting pictures of themselves smoking cigarettes even though they’re not legal age (I think). And when I told them I smoked weed they’re like dude that’s bad for you! you’re gonna get addicted! and I was like, even IF marijuana was addictive, tobacco would still be more addictive because you get withdrawal effects unlike marijuana. And like they wouldn’t believe me, it’s like they’ve been brainwashed to think marijuana is like cocaine.
Anyways, TO PEOPLE WHO WILL SAY “YOU SHOULDNT BE SMOKING MARIJUANA IT’S BAD FOR YOU! IT WILL KILL YOU!!”, my point is that marijuana is nowhere near as harmful as cocaine and tobacco. Marijuana has medicinal benefits, does tobacco have any? maybe but not as much as marijuana. With that out of the way, I just wanna know if it’s all that risky to smoke weed in the Philippines? Like will you get arrested for it and stuff? Cuz when I lived in the Philippines i never encountered anyone who smoked it and I rarely heard anything about it and I thought it was just some plant that was banned for some reason.
I live in US btw.