5 Funny Love Poems
Author: Jay Gilbert
When most people think of love poems, they think of serious and soulful expressions of passion. Long sonnets by Shakespeare or romantic poems by Browning and Lord Byron are the norm for love poetry. However, funny love poems can be good for a laugh. They may not be romantic, but they do give your friends something to enjoy.
Some of the best funny love poems are limericks. Limericks started in Ireland and follow a standard form of five lines and a rhyme scheme of aabba. Here are a few limericks written by anonymous authors:
There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time
When asked "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd!
And bigamy, Sir, is a crime."
There was a young fellow named Hammer
Whose had an unfortunate stammer
"The b-bane of my life"
Said he, "Is m-m-my wife
D-d-d-d-d-d-damn ‘er!"
She made friends with a young undertaker;
Her last boyfriend had forsaken her.
But she started to curse
When he turned up in a hearse.
She said next time I'll date a baker!
There was a young lady named Constance,
From boys she wouldn't stand any nonsense.
If her partners grew deft
She would lead with her left;
The results would not weigh on her conscience.
My sweetheart and I are just wed.
Already I wish I were dead.
Two weeks she's been spending.
It was time never ending.
We are thousands of pounds in the red!
Limericks are fairly easy to write if you can rhyme well, so you might try writing a limerick yourself that includes the name of your friend or loved one. This is a good way to make a funny love poem that is personalized.
You can find more information about funny poems at:
http://www.love-poems-quotes.info/funny-love-poems.html
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/poetry-articles/5-funny-love-poems-23786.html
About the Author
Art Hill is an internet poet who operates an independant poetry publishing company.
[TEMPLATE]cannibis[/TEMPLATE]
Funny Quotes, which you like best?
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success…….. is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.
If at first you don’t succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
As soon as you mention something…… if it is good, it is taken…. If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules —- Murphy’s golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
If you have paper, you don’t have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don’t have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students—-
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
All PMT buses are crowded.
Corollary—– PMT buses in opposite direction always go empty.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
LOL,i loved all of them,and all are pretty true!
My fav one is “The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.” LOOOOL that was funny.
Now heres my fav quote:
If at first you don’t succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
stupid quotes funny?
Stupid Quotes
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey, pop singer
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
The police are not here to create disorder. They’re here to preserve disorder.”
- Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic Party convention
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
- Former French President Charles de Gaulle
I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.
- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before
- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana…. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are.
- Matt Lauer on NBC’s Today show, August 22
“It’s like an Alcatraz around my neck.”
- Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
They’re multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.
- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
federal anti-smoking campaign
The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on “Larry King Live”
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.
- A congressional candidate in Texas
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
- General William Westmoreland, during the war in Viet Nam
Ha, I love this stuff and it’s everywhere…
to share…
“It wasn’t lying, just being economical with the truth: British civil servant”, Spycatcher book censorship case.
“Daft as a brush? I’m daft, but I’m not daft as a brush!” Paul Gascoigne
Funny quotes! Comment or star if you like it!?
In the front yard of a funeral home, “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.”
In a nonsmoking area, “If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
On a maternity room door, “Push, Push, Push.”
On a front door, “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.”
At an optometrist’s office, “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
On a taxidermist’s window, “We really know our stuff.”
On a butcher’s window, “Let me meat your needs.”
On a fence, “Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.”
At a car dealership, “The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.”
Outside a muffler shop, “No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.”
On a desk in a reception room, “We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.”
In a veterinarian’s waiting room, “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
In a Beauty Shop, “Dye now!”
On the side of a garbage truck, “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.” (Burglars please copy.)
In a restaurant window, “Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.”
Inside a bowling alley, “Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.”
In a cafeteria, “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.”
“If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.”
“I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marxx (or he could have substituted ‘club’ for ‘church’)
Funny quotes….I hope u enjoy reading it ?
January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed…….
u….
R….
always….
a HEADACHE to me !!!!
========
When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u to an eye specialist !!
=========
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
========
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds……
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a fool…………
==========
I wrote ur name on the sands………….
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air……………………..
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart………….
i got a HEART ATTACK
==========
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too
much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled “It really
works!”
==========
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire….. continues with smoke…..and ends in
ashes…
But dont worry – we are chain smokers
=============
ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
=========
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
==============
Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
===============
I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I’LL NEVER DRINK water….!!!
=============
when i call u;
1 ring means i’m thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ……..pick d phone idiot
===========
The human brain is most outstanding thing…….
it functions 24hrs 365 days…..
it functions right from the time u r Born….until you fall in
love
=======
SMILE – is a language of love
SMILE – is a source to win hearts…
SMILE – creates greatness in ur personality
SO….
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
smart jokes for high status people!!!!!!! i am fed up of pj’s. those wer really gud. had a gud laugh aftr many days………
Wanna laugh at some funny quotes?
1.Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
2.Don’t wash this vehicle – Undergoing scientific dirt test
3.He who laughs last thinks slowest
4.Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
5.As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
6. Beer – Helping ugly people have sex since 1765
7.BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
8. Clear the Road I AM SIXTEEN
9.Boldly Going Nowhere
10. Dogs think they’re human. Cats think they’re gods.
11. Save the Dolphins. What did the cows do wrong?
12. Unless you’re the lead dog, the view doesn’t change
13. Visualize Whirled Peas
14. Born to Shop
15. I am not a bum – My wife works
16. I am not unemployed I am a consultant
17. If you always take time to stop and smell the roses…sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee!
18. All men are idiots….I married their king
19. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
20. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
21. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
22. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
23. I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
24. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.
25. 1.Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted.
26. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
27. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
28.Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
29. The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
30. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
31. A crowded elevator smells different to a midget
I love these!!! Some of them, I am going to write in my notebook of favorite quotes!